Saying Goodbye to My Boobs

I never thought I’d be saying goodbye to my boobs. Yet there I was, on the verge of a bilateral mastectomy due to breast cancer. The emotions swirling inside me felt surreal—nerves, fear, and even sadness. But intertwined with those emotions was hope, because this surgery was about survival, about reclaiming my body and my future. Still, as I prepared to say goodbye, there was a certain mourning that came with letting go of a part of myself that was with me for so long.

I was nervous, to say the least. The idea of surgery was overwhelming—the thought of being in the operating room, the recovery process, and the changes my body would go through. I tried to balance all the anxiety with the knowledge that this was a crucial step in healing. But beyond that, I was anxious about one thing in particular: my wedding. The day I had been dreaming about and planning for felt so close, and the pressure to recover in time added another layer of stress.

I’ve found myself asking questions I never imagined would be part of my bridal preparations: Will I be able to move freely? Will I feel confident in my dress? How do I reconcile feeling beautiful while my body heals from a battle I never chose?

With all the uncertainties that went through my head, I was determined to walk down that aisle. My husband Mitch, my sisters and my parents were my rock through all of this—offering unwavering love and support, reminding me that this day was about more than the perfect dress or the “ideal” body. It was about celebrating love, resilience, and the future Mitch and I would be building together.

As the surgery approached, I knew that my body would change, but I also knew that I was gaining something far more important: a future, a chance at life, and a story of survival. This surgery is a chapter in my story, not the end of it.

To anyone else who is facing a similar journey, know that it’s okay to be nervous, to grieve, and to feel conflicted. But also know we are so much more than what we are losing. Our strength, our courage, and our spirit are what define us.

Here’s to saying goodbye, to healing, and to embracing all that comes next.